Manipulation VS Persuasion

Often times I get the question from my subscribers and other investors, “Alex how in the world did you get that deal for SOOOO dang cheap?”

To which I reply,” Well, its because I rock and you suck when it comes to talking to motivated sellers…lol.” <=======SOOOOO really JUST KIDDING!

The answer is that I have learned to be persuasive rather than manipulative with regards to negotiating with motivated sellers.

“Persuasion is the art of presenting an idea and gently bringing somebody down the path of making a positive decision”

Now I kind of pulled that definition out of thin air but hopefully it gives you  the correct picture of what we are trying to accomplish.

There is a huge difference between persuasion and manipulation. I am sure you have been in a situation where you have felt the ugly tones of manipulation. Not that I have anything against car salesman but it is actually a great example. Lets say that you want to go browsing for a car. All you are doing is going out to the lot to take a look at sweet new ride. You may or might not be in the market to buy. The salesman sees you from a distance and you can see how he slowly meanders out there just to somehow serendipitously “run into you.” From then on you feel him breathing down your neck the whole time and you just want to high tail it out of there. You feel as if you are being forced into making a decision and as a result you tense up and often just leave the car salesman standing in the parking lot wondering if it was his checkered tie and plaid coat that may have run you off.

This is exactly what you don’t want to do when it comes to meeting with motivated sellers. You DO NOT want to force the seller into making a decision. First, they can simple not close and you will spend your time chasing them and threatening them (no fun in my opinion). Second, when the seller feels like they made the decision ON THEIR OWN it will be a lot smoother closing for you and you will be in a position to get some great referrals from them.

Let’s briefly look at 4 Steps on How to Be Persuasive NOT Manipulative

1. Building Rapport

A lot of investors make the mistake of going out to a house just to inspect it rather than finding out WHO the seller is and WHAT it is they need to sell the house. Let me just say as well you should NOT be going out to every lead that comes across your desk or phone system. Get good at prescreening your leads so you are only dealing with sellers who are motivated and have the ability to accept your offer (meaning enough equity).

The key when you go out to a qualified lead is to get to know the seller in a genuine way. Ask them questions about their family,hobbies, sports teams, etc. You want to almost make them forget that you came to look at the house and you are just a good ole friend. The whole key to this is so that you can break down the barriers and get to why they really want to sell the house. This is what you need for the final step-getting your offer accepted.

2. Listening for What Matters Most

This dove tails right off of the first step. You have to find out why the seller wants to sell OTHER THAN MONEY. Just because they inherited the house is not reason enough. You need something like “I inherited the house and the upkeep on it is killing me.” Or “I have a tenant that is no longer paying the rent and the thought of evicting them scares me.” Money does matter when it comes to them selling the house but there is ALWAYS something else driving the decision. If you bring their emotions into the decision and justify it with some logic, you have done your job. The logic would be the local market conditions and the fact they would be selling “as is.”

3. Presenting Your Idea or Offer

Once you have identified what the non monetary problem or situation is you will go into presenting what you do. Than Merrill from A & E’s Flip This House does a great job of explaining how you want to build them as a customer for life. We are not there just to give them a dirt cheap price and run off but build value and help them in other ways. Maybe we could refer them to a credit repair specialist or buy somebody else’s house that they know.

When presenting your offer you do not just want to throw a price out there. You want to take your conversation back to a place of decision like a kitchen or coffee table. That way you can go over the contract with them and attempt to get a signature on the spot.

Leading them to the Close

The best way to lead somebody to the close (or signing of the agreement) is to get little trial closes along the way. A good example of this would be,” I should be able to close on this within two weeks does that work for you?” Little affirmations like this along the way pave the way for you to get the ultimate yes which is your price. We want to precondition them along the way.

Although you should not necessarily HARD CLOSE somebody you do want them to feel that if they do not accept your offer within the next day or so they could miss out on it completely. Let them know that you have other offers on the table and if they get accepted you may not be in a position to close on the house. I know this works because sellers will often ask me” How long is this offer good for?”  That is a shopping question and frankly it annoys me when I hear it. So you want to create a little sense of urgency to get the deal closed.

These 4 Steps will help you when it comes to meeting with sellers and getting your deals closed. You can also use this information within any other type of negotiation (maybe on that poorly dressed car sales man) Make sure you use your new found powers for good and not evil 🙂

Thanks for reading and please let me know your thoughts

Comment below on one of your Seller Negotiation stories or questions you may have

wholesaling houses

Oh BTW…Than Merrill is one of the Ninja Trainers that is in this little Priced $27 Training Course

I was listening to some of the training as I was typing this post 🙂

Check it out here

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  • Gordoncuffe

    do you mail out postcards to people in default of their loans? do you have a ibuyhouses website? I just built one for my area in Sacramento ca
    it is http://ihavetobuyahouse.com/ now I just need to get better at seo

  • Great post. I completely agree with the fact that sellers need to be comfortable with you. Most can smell pushy salesmen and their manipulation a mile away and they will turn and go the opposite way. People will sell their house to someone they like for less than is offered by someone they don’t really care for. Great post.

  • Jpdion

    great post Alex. thanks for the read.

  • Ivan

    Great info Alex! You’re totally right with the attitude we should have when approaching a seller…….that goes a long way and will help your business grow tremendously.
    Also, If you or anyone else wholesales in LA< Orane County area I'll be happy to check it out to close asap! Lookin for 3-1 entry level distressed properties with equity in them.

  • Kalen

    Alex, how do you build rapport when wholesaling virtually over the phone? That’s my dilemma….I can build rapport in person, but over the phone seems a bit more tricky